Manos In the Name of the Moon.

> "Bloody hell!"

Zorak: [hushed voice] We've secretly switched Lokar's coffee blend with
organic fertilizer. Let's see if he notices.

> "Mamo-chan?"

Brak: [singing] Mamo-chan, Mamo-chan, does whatever a mamo can!

> Usagi turned her head, enabling a view of her husband.

Zorak: Which is so much easier than just looking over.

> "Is something the matter?"

Zorak: [Mamoru] Besides being married to *you*?

> Mamoru's lips tightened and his face was pale.

Zorak: [Mamoru] I can't *believe* I got drunk enough to marry that little
whiner!

> Usagi could concur
> with his anger.

Ghost: We have a second. One more and the motion will be carried
unanimously.

> Finally, the two had received a well-deserved vacation,
> Only to be further hindered by inadequate maps and Mamoru's mediocre driving
> skills.

Ghost: All right, I'm betting that Lokar wrote this.

Zorak: Yeah. Anyone else woulda just said "They got a vacation, but their
map sucked and Mamoru was an idiot behind the wheel."

> At this rate, the two would *never* find the Valley Lodge!

[Stunned silence. Space Ghost, Brak, and Zorak look at each other in wordless
dread.]

> The sound of Chibi-Usa's intolerably squeaking snoring was heard in
> the back.

Ghost: However, it was not heard in the front because they had the radio
blasting "The Best of Queen."

> Finally, the brat had taken a hint of the oncoming arguments and

> taken a nap. A blessing on both their parts.

Zorak: Oh, yeah. THIS is a healthy family, I can already tell.
Ghost: What would you know about healthy families? *You* would just bite
her head off, if I know you!
Zorak: So what's your point?

> Mamoru once again mumbled a string of incoherent vulgarities;

Brak: [Yosemite Sam] Arsha-fardin' dagnab ding bingit!

> something Usagi was quite tired of listening to.

Ghost: [Usagi, singing over Mamoru] I SEE A LITTLE SILHOUETTE-O OF A MAN,

SCARAMOUCHE, SCARAMOUCHE, WILL YOU DO THE FANDANGO!

> If time away from battling
> the Nevaverse would be spent with an obnoxiously proud husband and a
> headache inducing child in the back-seat, what was it all worth?

Ghost: It's STILL better than babysitting a bunch of ex-villains year in
and year out.

> She
> suddenly began wishing for an onslaught of Negaverse cronies.

Zorak: Is that a cue or what?

> Oh, was she in for a devilish surprise.

Zorak: BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Ghost: What was THAT for?
Zorak: General principles.

>
> _____

Brak: Is this a Mad Lib? Can we do a Mad Lib? Please! I wanna do a mad
Lib!
Ghost: All right, Brak. Do a Mad Lib. Knock yourself out.
Brak: Oboy! Lets start with an adjective! Um... grungy!

> /* Beloved Manos: The Hands of Fate theme */
>

Brak: [whispering] Oh no...

> "MANOS: In the Name of the Moon"
>

Zorak: In the name of the moon, I will kick the hinder of whoever wrote
this!

> _____

Brak: Here's a noun. Billionaire!

>
> Pensive, the man in dusty beige clothing stood outside of the
> Master's household like a grotesque scarecrow.

Brak: Hi, Pensive! Which way to the Emerald City?

> He slumped forward, using
> his cane for support. His constantly shivering hands stroked his bushy

> beard and with a nod of approval, he glanced upon the outstretch of barren
> wasteland.

Ghost: [Pensive] This'll make a lovely calendar picture.

> The sun would fall soon. Yes. Yes.

Zorak: And then the Earth will be plunged into everlasting darkness!

> "Hmm?" he said. WhAt Is ThAt oVeR tHeRe...?"

Zorak: It's the caps lock key. Go play with it.

> His eyes did not deceive him.

Ghost: Though they may have occasionally misled him by withholding

information.

> His eyes caught a car

Brak: [Pensive's eyes] TAXI!!

> winding down
> the dirt track toward the household, prudent and slow.

Ghost: Ah yes, the Valley Lodge at the corner of Prudent and Slow. I was
there once. I hear it's become a tourist trap.

> He was not able to
> pinpoint the type of automobile it was, mainly due to the fact that the
> Master did not approve of such technological monstrosities.

Zorak: Meaning that it was an Edsel.

> It swerved to
> the side momentarily, then returned to its course toward Torgo.

Zorak: [singing] Here he comes, here comes Spaz Racer, he's a demon on
wheels!

> The Master would not like this. Not at all.

Ghost: Maybe he should break the news to The Master gently, after dinner.

> Then, through the dirty windshield, Torgo took a tantalizing glimpse
> of the woman sitting on the front passenger side.
> A lecherous grin spread across his face.

Brak: [ominously] Nuh-nuh-nuh-NUUUUH!

>
> _____
>

Brak: 'Nother adjective! Mauve. I like the sound of that. Mmmmmmmmauve.

> The couple remained in their car, motionless, in fear of the man
> outside.

Ghost: Hairy men can only see you if you move. Stay perfectly still in the
car and don't make a sound, and he won't know you're there.

> His repulsive appearance resembled that of a whiny,

Zorak: Chibi-Usa had found her long-lost brother at last.

> and his clumsy
> posture did not help.

Brak: [falsetto] You stand up straight, young man, or it's no dessert for
you tonight!

> Plus, to both their horror, the man bore a pair of
> abnormally bulging kneecaps, jutting outward like hilltops.

[All stare for a moment.]
Ghost: Big... *knees*?
Zorak: Oh no! I'm scared! Keep the big knees away from me, Brak!

> His disturbing

> smile did not further convince them of his reliability.
>

Ghost: Now that they'd looked up from those captivating legs.

> /* Haunting Torgo theme */
>

Brak: [Torgo, singing] I LoVe YoU, YoU lOvE Me, We'Re OnE haPpY FaMiLy...

> The stranger staggered toward the car, each step seeming to be an
> unbearable labor.

Brak: Push! Now breathe, and push again!

> By the time he reached Usagi and Mamoru, the man was
> wiping the sweat from his brow, breathing heavily.

Ghost: Guess Torgo shouldn't've worn his rubber jumpsuit in the middle of
summer.

> Promptly, the two
> opened their doors and removed themselves from the car.

Zorak: Oh, yes. When ya see something scary, the first thing you wanna do
is make sure it can get at you.

> "CaN I HeLp YoU wItH sOmEtHiNg...?" he stuttered, his voice uneven.

Ghost: In fact, there was something decidedly *odd* about that voice.

> "Um... yes, we're looking for the Valley Lodge. My wife and I are

> on vacation and we would like to get there before dark, so if you coul--"

Zorak: [Mamoru] -could take this kid off our hands, we'll be on our way.

> "ThErE iS nO wAy OuT oF hErE," was the retort. "iT'lL bE dArK
> sOoN. ThErE iS nO wAy OuT oF hErE."

Brak: Someone nudge Torgo. His needle's stuck.

> "Damn!" Mamoru shouted. "Honey, I don't know what we can do..."

Brak: [Usagi] You can swirl your cape around and throw flowers, and I can
put on my magical makeup!

> Uneasiness surged through Usagi as the stranger turned his head in
> her direction.

Ghost: It wouldn't have bothered her, except he was holding his head in his
hands.

> Somehow, the man appeared as if he were attempting to be
> seductive; holding a wavering stance and a gruesome smile.

Zorak: For a frat boy, that *is* seductive. Heck, that's probably how
Usagi and Mamoru got married in the first place.

> Usagi could say
> no more than, "I don't know..."

Brak: [Usagi] ...where string cheese comes from.

Ghost: [Usagi] ...how I manage not to get my pigtails caught in car doors.
Zorak: [Usagi] ...why I can't stop dyeing my daughter's hair with Kool-Ade.

> Mamoru turned his attention back to the stranger. "And who are you,
> sir?"
>

Brak: [Brad Majors] Your twin brother, and your accuser!

> "I aM tOrGo... I tAkE cArE oF tHe PlAcE wHiLe ThE mAsTeR's AwAy...."

Brak: Uh uh! It's "wHiLe ThE mAsTeR *Is* AwAy"!

[Both Space Ghost and Zorak look at Brak.]
Brak: Well, that IS what he says.

> "Master, huh?" Mamoru inquired. "Think he would mind if we stayed?

Zorak: He wouldn't mind if you sat, rolled over, or played dead.

> Afterall, I know he's not here, but..."

Ghost: [Torgo] WhIlE ThE CaT iS AwAy ThE MiCe WiLl PlAy.

> Once again, Torgo interupted. "ThE mAsTeR wOuLd NoT aPpRoVe oF
> yOu...

Brak: [Torgo] It Is AfTeR LaBoR DaY AnD YoU aRe WeArInG BlAcK bEfOrE

6:00.

> BuT tHe WoMaN... sHe MaY sTaY..."

Ghost: Or she may not. Women! You can never tell with 'em.

> Before Mamoru could make his fevered retort,

Zorak: Or before he could say anything, either.

> the sound of an opening
> door was heard and a roused Chibi-Usa tottered forward, gingerly rubbing her
> eyes with her left hand as she held Luna against her chest with the other.

Zorak: [Chibi-Usa] Mommy! Daddy! I got cat fur in my eyes again!

> Torgo's eyes widened at the sight of her, as if such a development was
> unexpected.

Ghost: [Torgo] A MaN AnD A WoMaN, WiTh a *ChIlD*? HoW DiD *tHaT* HaPpEn?!

> "ChIlDrEn... ThE mAsTeR dOeS nOt aPpRoVe Of ChIlDrEn..."

Zorak: [Torgo] ThE MaStEr ApPrOvEs Of ClOnInG.

> "But the Master isn't here! Now, what do you say... could we just
> stay for one night? Just to have a bed to sleep on for the night?"

Ghost: [Mamoru] and a roll-out cot for Chibi-Usa, and a box for the cat...

> Mamoru's insistence became frantic.

Brak: [Mamoru] But first, a BATHROOM!

> "But, Mamo-chan... I don't want to stay here."
> "Hush, darling!"

Ghost: Let the menfolk make the decisions, dear. Don't worry your pretty
little head over it.

> Chibi-Usa yawned and blinked audibly.

[Zorak blinks especially loudly - *bloonk-bloonk*]

> Luna meowed.

Zorak: Zorak yawned.

> "VeRy WeLl..." Torgo murmured with a troubled sigh. "PlEaSe, ShOw

> Me To YoUr BaGs..."
>

Zorak: [Mamoru] Torgo, meet Usagi; Usagi, meet... oop, that's not what you
meant, is it?

> _____
>

Brak: 'Nother adjective. Um... tacky.

> Marylin and Adam were at it again. The side of the desert road had
> become their official 'make-out' place for quite some time now, and things
> were not apt to change.

Ghost: They had conceived their three children on that stretch of the road.

> The two kissed with a feverish passion, taking

> brief interludes only to take a sip from Adam's flask of whiskey.

Brak: Is that what dating is like?
Ghost: No, Brak. That is... dirty, and nice people don't date like that.
Zorak: [Whispering to Brak] After we read this, I got a videotape for ya.

> The merging of lip and tongue became so passionate, so distracting,

Brak: P.D.A!

> that not even the din of the oncoming police siren discontinued their
> make-out session.

Ghost: Their session was scheduled from 8:00 to 9:00, and he had paid for

the full hour in advance.
Zorak: A date with Dot Matrix.

> Only whenever there was a tap upon Adam's shoulder did he
> release himself from her lips, regretting every second of it.

[Brak makes a "POP" sound with his finger in the side of his mouth.]

> He glanced upward at the police officer. The cop's cloping gut
> seemed offset by his smaller head.

Ghost: Cloping gut?
Brak: Cloping gut?
Zorak: Cloping gut?
Brak: It's only a model.

Zorak: Ssh.

> Beads of sweat covered his face atop his
> nose and brow.

Ghost: He has *another* face up there?

> It was apparent such an occupation was a handful in this
> barren desert, especially for three-hundred or so pound middle-aged men.

[Zorak looks at Space Ghost and smirks.]

> His badge informed the duo of his name--Earl.

Zorak: [Earl] Hah, ah'll be yore stereotahp fore th'day. Y'all.

> "Shouldn't you two be taking these personal matter elsewhere?" Earl

> said, his voice dry.

Ghost: In contrast to his nose and brow.

> "Ah, c' mon, copper. It's a free country!" the boy claimed.

Zorak: Tell that to the nice man from the IRS.

> "Now, now... rules is rules..."

Brak: [Earl] Ah figgered that out mahself.

> Grumbling and cursing under his breathe, the drove away.

Brak: The drove away? Is that like the drive-in that used to be there?

> Earl

> watched them do so, bemused, and returned to his car, accompanied by his
> partner and life-long friend, the ever-so-gangly Otto.

Zorak: [Earl] I hate it when these kids take *our* spot.

> "More kids makin' out on the side of the road?" Otto asked in pure
> cynicalism.

Ghost: That should be "cynicality."
Zorak: Uh-uh. "Cynicalness."

> "Yup," Earl answered. "Nothin' ever happens in this town."
>

Zorak: Well, gee, maybe if you didn't run everyone off with the Puritan

Patrol something WOULD!

> _____
>

Brak: Verb ending in "ing". Falling.

> As Torgo shuffled across the creaky boards

Ghost: To Buffalo.

> , taking there two
> tremendous bags of clothing and other miscellaneous whatnot into the guest
> bed-room,

Ghost: Who knows what mysteries lie within those two *tremendous* bags!
Unidentified bottles of shampoo... fascinating changes of underwear...
shocking spare rolls of film!

> Mamoru looked upon the wall. There hung a picture, of a man in
> his middle-ages.

Ghost: He wore a tunic, a codpiece, and a jerkin on his bodkin.

> His dark, deep-set eyes, thick mosuatche, his moody sneer,
> the black and red robe that loosely fit across his body, not to mention the
> hound that sat next to him; all made him look terribly sinister.

Zorak: That reminds me, Space Ghost. Alice Cooper called.
Ghost: We do not even joke about that, Zorak.

> Usagi
> soon joined his side and shuddered.

Brak: [Usagi] It's gonna take a while to get used to being Siamese twins.

> "What a horrible man... is that the Master?"


Zorak: [Mamoru] You're reading the same program I am, bubblehead! Why're
you askin' me?!

> "I don't know," was Mamoru's reply. "But whoever he is--"

Brak: I bet he ain't friends with the photographer any more.

> His sentence was broken off into a gasp. Something had lightly
> tapped against his shoulder!

Brak: Oh noooooo! Someone wants to tell them something! I'm scared!

> Mamoru quickly turned into a half-circle

Ghost: [Mamoru] I am Mr. Geometry! Fear me!

> and
> noticed Torgo, grinning mischieveously, cane in hand.

Brak: [Torgo] MiNd If I ShOw YoU My ShUfFlE-StEp, I've BeEn ReHeArSiNg It
FoR ThE TaLeNt ShOw ThIs WeEkEnD.

> Mamoru tried to
> return the smile, though he felt as if he had failed miserably.

Zorak: He couldn't get a refund, only an exchange on a smile of equal or

lesser value.

> Torgo croaked, "ArE yOu CuRiOuS aBoUt oUr MaStEr...?"

Brak: [Usagi] Actually, I was wondering how you just zapped that fly out
of the air with your tongue.

> "Well...I guess you could say that," Mamoru said. His curiousity
> was overwhelming. "Where is he?"

Ghost: [Mamoru, monotone] My curiosity will not let me rest until you tell
me all about The Master.

> "He'S dEaD... bUt NoT tHe WaY yOu KnOw It... He Is WiTh Us
> AlWaYs..."

Zorak: [Torgo] SeE ThAt UrN On ThE MaNtElPiEcE?

> Usagi shook her head, "But I thought you said he was dead. Then...
> how..."

Zorak: They burned him so he'd fit, nimrod.

> Torgo snapped back, "He'S nOt DeAd ThE wAy YoU kNoW iT..."

Ghost: How many ways are there to be dead?!

> There was a brief silence, followed by the distant howling of
> wolves. Or at least... they thought they were wolves.

Zorak: Or it could have just been a tape of a dog barking, played over and
over.

> "I'd best go try to fix the car while it's still daylight. Torgo,

> would you mind showing my wife and child to our room?

Ghost: [Mamoru] There's an extra five in it for you if you get us one with
a king-sized bed.

> I'll be back in a
> moment." He followed his statement with a small kiss on the cheek, then
> showed himself out.
>

Brak: Before Torgo could kiss him back.

> _____
>

Brak: How 'bout a geographic location. Um... Toadsuck, Arkansas.
Ghost: And the carrot festival therein.

> Mamoru stepped outside, the cackling leaves underneath his heels.

Zorak: [leaves] BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA- *crunch*

> The twilight hours were upon the deserts of El Paso, and Mamoru admired the
> view briefly.

Ghost: The fading sunlight glinted off the pelts of the pack of wolves
coming to devour the fresh prey they had scented.

> If it weren't for the atrtious house he was currently
> staying in, the setting might be romantic.

Brak: Heck, it might *still* be romantic. Before he found out for sure

he'd have to figger out what "atrtious" meant.

> But enough of such thoughts.
> He had best fix the car before the wild animals came out...
>

Ghost: Because everyone knows that wild animals stay *indoors* during the
daytime.

> _____
>

Brak: 'NOTHER adjective-
Ghost: I have one. Bionic.
Zorak: You *too*?
Ghost: Why not? We can *all* join in the fun!

> Usagi frantically stuffed her clothing in the chest of drawers, each
> unfolded and wrinkled.

Brak: So, she ironed the chest of drawers.

> How could Mamoru even *consider* staying in such a
> foul place!

Zorak: Hey, he got a good triple-A discount, all right?!

> Had he gone mad? The setting, the portrain on the wall, and
> most of all--Torgo.

Ghost: She just couldn't get that man out of her mind.

> They were all so creepy! She hadn't felt this sick

> since she had eaten the peanut-butter and icecream sandwich with chocolate
> chip cookies with Cool Whip spread over them.

Brak: I want HER to pack my lunches from now on.

> From the sidelines, Torgo simply gazed in her direction. Something
> about her captivated him...

Zorak: [Torgo, thinking] ThAt ShRiLl, WhInY VoIcE... ThAt SiLiY HaIrDo...
ShE MuSt Be MiNe!

> some perverse fantasy that lurked inside his
> head.

Ghost: Put the pumpkin *down,* Torgo.
Zorak: [Torgo] WhAt PuMpKiN? Is It MiDnIgHt AlReAdY?

> Then, it happened. Torgo made a bumping step forward, slowly pacing
> himself. He made another... then another... slowly making his way toward
> Usagi.

> "ThE mAsTeR lIkEs YoU..." Torgo said, as he stumbled forward.

Ghost: Awww, little Torgo's taking his first steps! Come to mommy!

> Usagi promptly turned around, her eyes ablaze.

Zorak: And she continued spinning around and around, hoping that that would
put out her eyeballs before they burned completely out.

> "Likes me?" she
> questioned. "But he's never even met me!"

Zorak: That's why he likes you.

> Torgo took another lumbering step forward. "hE's NoT dEaD tHe WaY
> KnOw I yOu t, MaDaM... hE iS wItH uS aLwAyS wItH uS... bUt He CaN't HaVE

> yOu... BeCaUsE *I* wAnT yOu..."

Brak: Wow. Torgo's got one weird stream of consciousness thing going on
there.

> With that pronouncement, Torgo's hand slowly lunged forward,
> stroking Usagi's left hair bun.

Ghost: Before spreading mayonnaise on it and putting in some roast beef.

> His grimy hands grappled a handful
> lovingly, as his eyes went into a dream-like state.

Ghost: Nevada.

> A blazing fury spreading over her, Usagi exclaimed, "Sailor V
> Kick!!" and gave Torgo a swift kick to the groin.

Zorak: What? Isn't she gonna take a half an hour to transform first?

> On impact, the man flew
> into the wall, leaving a permanent imprint.

Zorak: That stain's NOT comin' out.

> He soon peeled off, clenching
> his area, accompaning it with loud grunts and groans.

Ghost: Torgo! Not in front of a lady!

> With a soft giggle,
> Usagi extended her middle and forefinger in a 'Victory' sign.

Zorak: Then she folded her forefinger.

> She knew all
> those years of playing her 'Sailor V' video games would pay off!

Brak: Boy, am I glad she hadn't been playing "Pac-Man" instead.

> She cracked her knuckles. "So, Torgo... still planning on acting so
> fresh..."

Zorak: [Usagi] Kiss my stilettos, worm!

> A choking gasp. "FoRgIvE mE, mAdAm..."
>

Brak: That's some gasp.

> _____
>

Brak: Hey, a verb, past tense!

Zorak: I got one.
Brak: Shoot.
Zorak: Exploded.
Ghost: Figures.
Zorak: Oh yeah, Mr. "Bionic"?

> ChibiUsa, now sitting upon the sofa, stroked Luna's fur, which was
> answered with a low pur. The girl giggled.

Brak: [Chibi-Usa] Look! Kitty has all these cute little black specks in
her fur! And they're moving!

> "Do you think it's wise to stay here?" the cat asked, her voice
> nonchalant.

Ghost: Talking cats always rely on the advice of small children.

> ChibiUsa mused on the idea, "Hmmm... I don't know. But still...
> it's better than fighting loads of Negascum, day in, day out."

Brak: [Chibi-Usa] Now we can fight them at night!

> Luna nodded. "True."
>

Zorak: Uh... yeah.

> _____
>

Brak: Another verb, past tense! Immigrated!
Zorak: You're *way* too enthusiastic about this.

> The Altar.

Ghost: The Setting.

> The man lying upon the coffin shaped resting structure stirred.
>

Brak: And added a cupful of raisins.

> _____
>

Brak: Forsooth! An interjection!

> "PlEaSe MaDaM... I mEaNt nO hArM..." Torgo's insistance was making
> her ears bleed.
> "All right, I won't tell my husband," she said.

Zorak: [Usagi] Just get that icepick out of my ear!

> "But I want to get
> out of this place as soon as possible..."
>

Ghost: Well, she'll never be accepted into the military now.

> _____
>

Brak: A room? Um...
Ghost: The Oval Office.
Zorak: I got a bad feeling about that one.

> "Damn."
> That's all Mamoru could say.

Ghost: Because BS&P wouldn't let any of the others words through.

> The car was dead, totally dead. No way on God's green Earth he

> would be able to fix it alone.

Brak: [singing] People who need people are the luckiest people in the
world...

> But there was no need to worry. A quick
> call to the local auto-repair would fix things ina jiffy. Then they could
> leave this Godforbidden place...
>

Zorak: THOU SHALT NOT GO TO EL PASO, TEXAS!

> _____
>

Brak: Verb! Crumple!

> A distant howl.

Ghost: Rang out. The maid screamed.

> Luna sat upright, hissing. ChibiUsa blinked, ceasing her
> continuious petting. Without hesitation, the cat rushed off in a frenzy,
> leaving only a trail of dust behind her.
>

Zorak: [Luna] Where'd they put that sandbox again?!

> _____
>

Brak: Verb, past tense.
Zorak: Stained.
Brak: Ew.

> Mamoru was on the verge of entering the household whenever Luna had
> dashed past him.

Ghost: He was ALWAYS on the verge of entering his household when Luna

dashed past him. It was an irritating habit of his.

> His head swerved in her direction,

[Zorak makes tire-screeching noises]

> watching her boldly
> make her way onward into the distant murkiness. It wasn't long before
> another howl was heard, followed by a shriek of agony.

Zorak: Brak, watch close. You're seeing evolution in action.

> Mamoru pursued.
> He arrived on the scene moments too late. He glanced downward his
> feline companion. There were at least three large, critically bleeding

> openings; gashes through the patches of blue fur.

Brak: No! Someone take the kitty to a doctor!
Ghost: Settle down, Brak. It's not a real cat. It's a special effect.

> She croaked, gasping for dear life, "N-Neg-gaverse..."

Zorak: It was Negaverse wolves that killed her! She wasn't just being
stupid and running out of a safe house right into a wolf pack! Yeah, that's
the ticket!

> That was the last word Luna ever uttered.
>

Ghost: Before entering a convent and taking a vow of silence.

> _____

>

Brak: Noun. [looks around himself, finally glancing down at his legs.]
Pair of pants.
Ghost: I think that's a plural noun.

> Torgo was in the bathroom. Yes, this is where he should be...

Zorak: Because he's a total s-
[space Ghost BLASTS Zorak.]
Zorak: [now crispy] This is censorship!

> this
> is where the Lady makes contact with him.

Brak: Uh...

> He poked his staff behind the
> toilet,

Zorak: [Torgo] WhY CaN't We JuSt BuY A PlUnGeR?!

> catching hold on the metallic box he had found in the desert. He
> pulled it to his feet, then knelt down and seized it up from the floor. He
> promptly placed it on the counter, then tapped it lightly in the way he was
> once indicated to.

Ghost: It opened to reveal his beauty aids and a miniature plastic
ballerina turning around the strains of a music box.

> The image of the Lady, the sinister Queen Beryle, flashed upon the

> screen..

Brak: Burning itself forever into Torgo's retinas.

> "I hAvE dOnE yOuR dEsIrEd BiDdInG mY qUeEn... ThErE aRe HeRe..."

Ghost: [Beryl] My BIDDING was for you to learn how to spell my name right!

> Torgo's sinister grinned spread across his face, slightly obscured by his
> bushy beard.

Brak: It's like watching a tumbleweed smile.

> "Good," Beryl proclaimed. "Now, my fifth and final general... here
> are your instructions. Listen closely: You must revert to your youma form,

> and annhiliate the three of them. Any means necassery are acceptable!

[All three look at each other]
Brak: Torgo's a youma?
Ghost: It DOES explain things.
Zorak: Like *what*?
Ghost: Well... uh... the big knees, for a start!
Zorak: [shaking his head] I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish
Tansit was here.

> Just do it!"

Brak: Nike!

> "YeS, mY qUeEn..."

>

Zorak: [Torgo] ThE MaStEr WaNtS QuEeN BeRyL... BuT He CaN't HaVe Her... I
WaNt HeR...

> _____
>

Ghost: How many more of these blanks *are* there?
Zorak: Way too many.
Brak: Thanks.
Zorak: What?
Brak: Never mind.

> Mamoru scurried into the house. He was greeted by an equally
> frightened Usagi, her eyes bulging, mouth limply open.

Ghost: Mamoru screamed and fled back into the night.

> "We have to get out of here!!" the two shouted, their voices
> mingling.

Brak: JINX! Can't talk till someone says your name!

> Mamoru nodded. Usagi shuddered, then lunged herself into Mamoru's
> chest, sobbing lightly.

Zorak: Feeling sorry that she'd broken his ribs.

> Mamoru wrapped his arms around her waist, hoping to
> comfort the broken woman.

Zorak: The cat's dead, his ribs are smashed, now she's broken. The only
one left in one piece is the kid.

> This place was the dwelling of nightmares!

Ghost: If Lokar were here, he'd say something about Edgar Allen Poe.

> "Honey," Mamoru asked. "Let's leave on foot... I'm sure we could
> find something soon... Now let's find ChibiUsa and get the devil out of
> here."

Brak: [Mamoru] Did you bring your Shinto wand?
Ghost: [Usagi] NO! I can't believe it, I left it on the coffeetable! I
*hate* it when I do that!

> Usagi released a low moan. "Where... is ChibiUsa?"
>

Zorak: You mean the little girl you left alone in the house with the big

hairy man who was pawing you a moment ago? Yeah, where IS the squirt?

> _____
>

Brak: Zorak, what's your favorite color?
Zorak: I don't have one. I hate them ALL!
Brak: Um, no color... how about transparent?
Zorak: Whatever.

> The Master awoke, surrounded by his slumbering wives.

Ghost: He alone was a morning person. It didn't make for an easy marriage.
Marriages. whatever.

> He stood up, his body erect.

Zorak: *All* of him stood up. Not just an arm or his hair.

> How long had he been asleep? At least
> thirty years.

Brak: His mouth tasted like an ashtray that someone had spilled beer into.

> Yes... the summoning of Manos was upon them. Soon... very
> soon.

Ghost: However, remember that we're taking about "soon" to someone who
sleeps for *thirty years*.

> "My wives!" he exclaimed, his voice thundering. "Awaken, and do my
> bidding!"
>

Brak: [The Master] Fix me french toast!

> End of Part One
>

Zorak: One down, *how many* to go?
Ghost: I don't know.
Zorak: We could just get up and leave.
Brak: [embarrassed] Um... I kinda wanna know what happens next.
Ghost: There's a morbid streak in all of us, I guess.

> Whoo hah hah! I bet you're just *dying* for the next part, neh? God, I
> feel awfully evil... Especially since this part is even more ridiculous and
> brutal, and has "special" guest stars. So, be afraid. Be very afraid.

>

Brak: The story's talking to us! It's alive! AAAAAAAA!

> _____
>

Brak: Verb ending in "ing." Jingling! 'Cause I like Christmas!

> "Earl?"
> "Yup, what is it, Otto?"

Zorak: [Otto] Roll over, wouldja? You're hogging the blanket again.

> The two cops stood over the terrain of the El Paso desert, the
> omnious landscape stretching on for miles. The sound of yowls of agonizing
> pain were echoing in the distance, leaving the duo apprehensive.

Ghost: [Earl] Gee. Wild animals killin' each other. Think we oughtta get
out of here or get into the car or something?
Zorak: [Otto] Nah.

> Both of
> them drew their guns.

Ghost: Earl used a pencil, and Otto had brought his pastels.

> "What about the bar? I'm tellin' you, that bar maid really has the
> hots for me."

Zorak: Have no fear! Short Attention Span Man is here!

> Otto sighed and raised his gun and directed it toward it's target:

> the blotch of infitine nothing which was the night. Twice he fired, not
> ceasing until the cries ended. Satisfied, he re-holstered his gun.

Brak: He killed the night! *Now* when are we gonna sleep and go to "The
Rocky Horror Picture Show"?!

> "There. Probably some critter dyin' out in the woods. Now, ready
> for some beer and pretzels?
> "And Thelma, the barmistress of my life! Sho' 'nuff!"
>

Zorak: [flatly] Yee-haw.

> _____
>

Brak: How 'bout an animal? Um... trout.

> /* Beloved Manos: The Hands of Fate theme */
>

Brak: I heard you can download one of those for your PC. It's got icons
and sounds and everything.

> "MANOS: In the Name of the Moon"
>

Ghost: I get it! It's an anagram! Um...

> _____
>
>

Brak: Verb, past tense. Um.... er... noodled.
Zorak: Verbing weirds language.

> The man in beige, the man who had dedicated his life to the great,

> omnipotent god of darkness, Manos, felt himself changing.

Brak: He had to change clothes by braille, since the light bulb in his
bedroom had burned out.

> His form shifted
> inwardly and outwardly, and his flesh began to bubble and sizzle in various
> areas.

Zorak: He was basted with a white wine sauce.

> Angular blades jutted from his back, and he winced in agony as his
> they stiffened and took shape.

Brak: It's a Swiss Army Torgo!

> The remainder of his mutilated body swam

> with oblique metamorphosis.

Ghost: Which is something like the backstroke, only more Kafkaesque.

> And from the machine, the Lady's crooning laughter was present.
>
>

Brak: And accounted for.

> _____
>

Brak: Another verb. Um... [looks at Space Ghost for help]
Ghost: Interpolate.
Brak: What's that mean?
Ghost: I think it has to do with the Spanish and Portugese broadcasts of

our show.

> "Chibi-Usa! Chibi-Usa!"

Brak: [falsetto] Pikachu! Pikachu!

> Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask throughly examined the rooms of the
> Master's dwelling, each bearing no more than cob-webs, dusts, and ancient
> furnishings.

Ghost: Water damage... loose floor section... wiring's not up to spec...
they're gonna have to make a LOT of repairs to this place before I'll make an
offer.

> Their shouts became more frantic as time elapsed, yet the
> small girl was nowhere to be found. Such a troublesome child...

Zorak: Shoulda devoured her while you had the chance.

> "Mamo-chan..." Sailor Moon sobbed. Being apart from the girl,
> however so much of a burden it was, was simply unbearable.

Ghost: Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em, eh?

> Oh, she couldn't
> allow herself to dream of the dreary, depressing days in which she would be
> away from the beloved Chibi-Usa.

Zorak: She's already given up, huh? Now the healing can begin.

> It was her destined right to overlook the

> child as she developed into whatever form the Moon Kingdom fated her.

Zorak: And to water down her cocoon on hot days.

> "Don't worry, Moon-chan. You are one of the Sailor Senshi,
> remember? Nothing is not within your grasp."

Brak: So, um, everything is within her grasp?
Ghost: I think just *something* is within her grasp.

> Tuxedo Mask smiled
> charismatically. Sailor Moon swooned.

Zorak: THUD.

> "I say we split up," Tuexedo Mask recommended.

Ghost: [Freddy] Daphne and I'll go make out in the attic, Shaggy and Velma
search the basement, and Scooby'll wander around until he meets some guy in a
rubber mask.

> "I take the
> back-end, you're in charge of the front. Got it?"

Zorak: What, are they washing a cow?

> "Hai."
>

Brak: [waving] Hi!

> _____
>

Brak: Another noun. Fever.

> the girl-child has been appointed his destined vehicle."

Brak: I hope it's a tricycle, otherwise she's in trouble.

> "Insanity! Are you saying that virgin's juices flow more
> vigourously than mine!" shouted Ami.

Zorak: [Ami] Sez you!

> "Beguile yourselves naught, for I should be the destined wife of
> Manos!"
> cried Makato.

Ghost: You don't get extra points for using Shakespearean vocabulary.

> The three women, fuming in their envious anger, coorspondingly

> pounced one another; kicking, biting, and screaming. Tatters of white robe
> flew in every given direction. Rage enconvered the entourage as their vied
> for the Master's approval. The tussle commensed.

[Brak and Zorak look at Space Ghost, expecting him to denounce the violence.
He doesn't notice; he's a little too intent on the scene.]

> Through this ongoing madness, the Master vanished with a nod of his
> head.

Brak: And laying his finger aside of his nose, up the chimney he fled.

> Minako, appaled by the outburst, scattered off, away from the
> catacombs.
>

Brak: What catacombs?

Ghost: The ones they were in, I guess.
Zorak: They had catacombs and I missed 'em? What a rip!

> _____
>

Brak: Brak: Verb ending in "ing". Bouncing!

> /* Haunting Torgo theme */
>

Brak: Now for the Macintosh too!

> "GrRrRrRr.... GrOwL... sNaRl..." crooned the beast.

Zorak: Speech therapy with Scooby-Doo.

> It's body was

> that of an oversized spider, with the exception of its horrifying face.

Ghost: Which was that of a *regular-sized* spider.

> It's face as that of Torgo, unsettled by decay and deformity. A sinister
> smirk emerged from his drooling, hagard lips as it outstretched its claws.

Zorak: SHING!

> "What is THAT?!?" Sailor Moon shouted.

Zorak: [Torgo] ArEn'T YoU PaYiNg AtTeNtIoN? ThEy'rE My ClAwS. I'll Do It
AgAiN. SHING!

> "I... I... I aM yOmA tOrGo.... GwAaAaAaA....!!!"

>

Brak: [singing] I-I-I-I-I am Mr. E-e-e-e-d.

> _____
>

Brak: Body part, plural?
Zorak: Kidneys.

> Before the blackout, the only thing Tuxedo Mask could recall was the
> sharp and lingering pain of the impact striking upon his brow and the image
> of a gaunt man sneering victoriously at his inert body.

[Brak begins humming the "Twin Peaks" theme.]

> "It's him!", he

> would have cried out, if not for the fact of his lasp of conciousness.

Ghost: [Mam- er, Tuxedo Mask] Oh, I feel faint! Ooooh.

> When Tuxedo Mask awoke, he was bound to the tree by leathery rope.
>

Zorak: [Tuxedo Mask] Ohhh... *What* did I do last night?

> _____
>

Brak: Plural noun. Squaws.

> "In the name of the moon, I will punish you, Yoma Torgo! You will
> feel the vengence of Earth's sole protector, Sailor Moon!"

Ghost: Earth's protector is one girl? That planet is in need of some
heavy-duty super-heroics! [flexes his mighty physique]
Zorak: So go.
Ghost: [stops flexing] Er... I don't have directions.

> "NoNsEnSe..." cried Yoma Torgo. "If yOu dArE, tHe ChIlD wIlL
> dIe..."

Zorak: [Nagaina] If you move I strike, and if you do not move I strike.

> "Wha--?! Chibi-Usa? Where is she?"

Zorak: Feeding the hell-hound. By hand. Finger by finger.

> "ShE mUsT dIe BeFoRe ThE rItUaL oF mAnOs OvErTaKeS hEr... ThE
> eXiStEnCe Of MaNoS tHrEaTeNs ThAt Of QuEeN bErYl... So I hAvE bEeN hIrEd To
> DeStRoY bOtH yOu AnD tHe GiRl... I mUsT bE lIbErAtEd FrOm... ThE mAsTeR's
> ChAiNs... I wAs GiVeN tHiS bOdY tO dEsTrOy eVeRyThInG... aNd sO i ShAlL..."

Brak: [Torgo] AcTuAlLy, I JuSt *ReAlLy* DoN't LiKe It When PeOpLe MeSs
WiTh LiTtLe KiDs.

> Usagi choked back a sob, her eyes becoming a flood, "How could
> anyone be so cruel?! Why must I let you destroy everything that I love and
> care for?
> WHY! WHY! WHY!?!"

Ghost: BANJOOOOO!

> Silence. It seeped through the midnight.

Zorak: Like a full diaper.

> Finally, breaking this chain of monotony, a violet flame
> spontanouely engulfed the Yoma's body, searing his lizard-like flesh to a
> cinder.

Zorak: Mmm! Something smells good! Where's the barbecue?

> The smell of his charring ranked with a vile odor, and Sailor Moon
> couldn't help but gag on the fumes. As the beast was incinerated, she
> sighed heavily in relief through breaths of pungent air.

Ghost: Gotta admit, every so often a Deus Ex Machina comes in handy.

> "There's no such thing as good help these days..." mumbled a voice
> to Usagi's left.

Zorak: Or a good spell-checker either.

> Her head darted toward it.

Zorak: Leaving behind a trail of bloody vertebrae.

> The man from the painting...
>

Brak: Well, what about him?

> _____
>

Brak: Noun. Um...
Ghost: Taco.
Brak: That's a good noun!

Ghost: And a balanced meal in a shell. Tacos are good food!

> Minako strode toward the constrained man, inching toward the tree
> meticulously. He was a beautiful man... so vulnerable... so
> unsuspecting... so EASY!

Ghost: But enough about me, she thought.

> She bent over him ravenously and planted a kiss
> on his throat, then making her way over to his lips where she practically
> shoved her tongue between his lips. Her tongue coarsed over his lips, as
> they murmured something almost shyly.

Zorak: [boredly] Oh baby. Do me now. Yeah.

> "Usa... ko?"
> "No. I'm much better." She smirked devilishly.

Ghost: [Minako] Not that I know who you're talking about in the first
place, never having heard her name before.

> "Uhhh... what... are... you doing?"
> "Relax, honey. Don't even think about budging."

Brak: [Mamoru] I'm thinking about budging! Look! You can't stop me!
I'm thinking a LOT about budging!

> Her hands clasped his zipper between her forefinger and thumb,
> releasing the creature lurking beneath.

Brak: He's got an alligator in his tote bag?

> Laughing gaily, she bent herself
> downward and swallowed the beckoning meaty organism.
>

Brak: Ewww! That's so gross!
Ghost: I know, Brak-
Brak: I mean, that little gator mighta been his favorite pet that he got
on vacation in Florida and named it Wally and carried it everywhere with him
and fed it some of his french fries when he had lunch! And she treated it
like it was a sammitch! That's *mean*!
Zorak: [to Space Ghost] I won't tell him if you won't.

Ghost: Deal.

> _____
>

Brak: Verb, past tense. Licked.

> "So you see, Manos is in need of a tangible body which will allow
> him to spread the Unholy Word and enlighten those of the true dark lord.

Ghost: [Whoever] I am NOT going to repeat myself again, so LISTEN this
time.

> "You... will... not... use... my... child..." Sailor Moon chided
> through clenched teeth.

Zorak: Oh, she sounds like she *really* means it.

> "On the contrary..."
> "MOON..."
> "...I really think..."
> "...CRYSTAL..."
> "...I will."
> "...HALATION!"

Brak: [Usagi] MOON... UNIT... ZAPPA!

> With a sweep of his hand, flames enwraped Sailor Moon, setting her
> flesh aflame. Her screams echoed into the empty midnight.
>

Zorak: YES!! It's about TIME someone toasted Usagi Yobimbo! BWA-HA-HA-HA!
Brak: Hey! This is really getting mean! Space Ghost!

Ghost: Don't look at me, Brak. I didn't write it.

> _____
>

Brak: Noun. Yams!
Zorak: That's a plural noun.
Brak: [stubbornly] Ya can't eat just one.

> In the Alter, four wrestling girls came to a halt, for they were all
> charred beyond recognition.
>

Zorak: Mmm, more long pig than you'll find in a month of Hawaiian sundays!

> _____
>

Brak: Plural unit of time?
Ghost: Nanoseconds.
Zorak: Solar cycles.
Ghost: Nanoseconds!
Zorak: Solar cycles!
Ghost: Oh, let's call the whole thing off!

> Minako, burning like a wicker candle,

Ghost: And not the ordinary wax kind.

> huddled herself against her
> new lover's crotch as her flesh melded away in a rose of orange flame.

Brak: Ew, gross! But... kinda romantic.

Zorak: [over Brak's head, to Space Ghost] I think he's gone numb.

> Her
> fiery lips involuntarily clenched upon Mamoru's love-organ. His cries of
> pain were etched in esquisite pain.
>

Ghost: Not just any ordinary pain, but EXQUISITE pain! Now how much would
you pay?

> _____
>

Brak: [distracted and unhappy] Verb, past tense. Huffed.

> "NOOOOOO!!! MOMMY!!!"

Brak: That's me reading this story.

> Chibi-Usa dashed toward her mother's smouldering corpse. Groping at
> the ashes and charred flesh blindly, she wept. Tears streamed down her eyes
> like the rivers, each a puddle of sorrow.

Zorak: [Chibi-Usa] Now I know what "Barefoot Gen" went though.

> The Master swung his arms melodramatically and pronounced in a
> theatrical voice, "So let it be done! Manos, I have ordained it so! You
> will take the body of this girl! Now, with the appointed words which
> beckons you from the grave: Klaatu Verada..."

Ghost: [Ash] N... N... Necktie!

> "Never!" Chibi-Usa demanded.

Brak: Chibi-Usa never demanded! She always asked politely.

> "What?!"
> "I will never lower myself to evil. I am Sailor Chibi-Moon,
> defender of justice! To allow you to use me as a shell would be degrading
> beyond redemption! No, I choose another path for myself... and you cannot
> change it, no matter what you do or say! I will not aid your God!"

Zorak: Whoa. This speech comes from the same little kid who was giggling

and petting the cat a few pages ago!
Ghost: A few pages can seem like an eternity.
Brak: Yup.

> "But, girl, you are the chosen one..."
> "Find Manos another whore!!"

Zorak: I know the best little place to find one in Texas!

> With that final sentiment, she reached into her purse and produceda
> shining black hand-gun, glistening in the pitch-darkness.

Ghost: How cute! They gave her a glow-in-the-dark toy gun for her
birthday!

> Closing her

> eyes, she swallowed the barrel to the shaft, and pulled the trigger.

Ghost: Kids, setting off a cap gun that close to your eyes is *not* a good
idea.

> Fragments of skull and gray brain matter poured from the back of the mesh
> of what was formerly her head. A bubbling ooze of crimson coursed from the
> open stump of brow.

[All stare mutely.]

> "NOOOOO!!!"
>

[Brak starts whimpering.]
Ghost: [hurriedly] Brak, it's *only* a *story*.

Brak: I don't like this story.
Zorak: It's gotta be nearly over. Just about everybody's been offed.

> _____
>

Brak: [whimpering] Verb, past tense.
Zorak: Disintegrated.
Brak: Yeah.

> Pensive, the man in dusty beige clothing stood outside of the
> Master's household like a grotesque scarecrow.

Brak: Run! Get outta there, Pensive, before they get you too!

> He slumped forward, using

> his cane for support. His constantly shivering hands stroked his angular
> chin and with a nod of approval, he glanced upon the outstretch of barren
> wasteland. The sun would fall soon. Yes. Yes.

Zorak: Manos, by James Joyce.

> "Hmm?" he said. WhAt Is ThAt oVeR tHeRe...?"

Ghost: The shift key. Now leave it alone, son.

> His eyes did not deceive him.

Zorak: AAAAA! This story's looped!

> His eyes caught a white van winding
> down the dirt track toward the household, wily and ludicriously swift.

Brak: Marlon Perkins was tracking it so he could tag it and trace its
migrations.

> One
> a dime,

Brak: Wow. Prices sure went up since those white vans were a dime a
dozen.

> it swervwed violently and halted, leaving a trail of dust particles
> lingering in the air.

Ghost: Move along, move along. Nothing to see here. Show's over.

> The side-door parted open.

Brak: The side door part opened.
Ghost: The side door partly opened.

Zorak: The side door parted to open.

> Three people stepped out: one was a
> charismatic, cocky boy wearing perpectually baggy clothes and a
> I'm-so-friggin'-smooth type grin, the other was a deranged, fruity youth
> with green hair and a Rage Against the Machine shirt, while the final one
> was a terminally-perky, utterly nondescript looking girl who had an aura of
> masculinity about her.

Ghost: Wow. Those meddling kids sure punked out after Daphne and Scooby
left, didn't they?

> "Ah, great. Leave it to Issei to sod up our directions."

Zorak: [whoever] I *did*, didn't I?

> The green-haired youth produced a metaphysical hammer and bashed the
> cocky one upside the head. "Shut up, DJ! You were the one who was so sure
> that we were almost at Tokyo-3! So, neener-neener-neener!"

Brak: You're not in Tokyo-3, you're in Texas. You really shoulda made
that left turn at Albuquerque.

> "Come on, you guys. Why don't you relax? Be optimistic on life!
> Smile! Laugh!

> And help me look for the nearest female within the ten-mile
> radius."

Zorak: Scanning... scanning...

> "SHUT UP, LISA!" the two boys howled.

Brak: So it was THEM makin' all that noise last night! I thought it was
wolves!

> The three carried on with their bickering and arguments, not taking
> heed to the strange, poorly-dressed bishounen monotonously yammering on ina
> high-pitched voice.

Brak: [falsetto] Hey! Lookit me! I been sucking helium! I sound like a
duck! Listen!

> "My NaMe Is MaMoRu... I wAtCh OvEr ThE pLaCe WhIlE tHe MaStEr Is
> AwAy..."

>

Brak: Wait. Wasn't he burned up?!
Ghost: I thought so, too.
Zorak: Whatshername with him was burned. I don't know how *he* lived
through it.
Brak: [Hopefully] Maybe the others didn't get burned and shot and that
other stuff then?
Ghost: I don't think so, Brak.

> THE END?
>

Zorak: If ya know what's GOOD for ya, the end!
> Um, to tell you the truth, I am very sorry that I have wrought this.

Ghost: Well! A few parting words from the author.
Brak: [in disbelief] He's saying he's sorry?

> Forgive me, Kami-sama... Forgive me, those unfortunate enough to read this.

Brak: [amazed] He *is* telling us he's sorry!

> And forgive me most of all, Sailor Senshi...
>

Zorak: A little late for *that*.

> By the way, no I did not proof-read any of this. I wanted to leave it in
> it's crappiest possible state.

Ghost: And you succeeded admirably.

[The text scrolls off the screen. Pause several beats. Brak is looking
quietly at the monitor. Zorak nudges him.]

Zorak: You okay, monkey boy?
Brak: [slowly] Yeah. I'm okay.
Ghost: I had no idea that story would be so... uh...
Brak: Well... it was really bad at the end, but the guy who wrote it said
he was sorry. My Mom always told me to forgive people if they say they're
sorry.
Ghost: Your mother was a very idealistic woman.

Brak: [a little more cheerfully] And, besides, it was only a story. And
it's done now! [smiling]
Ghost: That's the spirit! Hey, why don't we find out how that Mad Lib
turned out?
Brak: Yeah! Let's look!

[Text begins scrolling on the monitor screen]

Scooby-Doo: The Case of the Grungy Billionaire

It was a mauve and tacky night. The Mystery Machine was falling
down a road in the middle of Toadsuck, Arkansas.
"We're lost," said Fred. "We'd better pull over and ask for

directions at that bionic house."
So, they all got out of the van and exploded up to the door. Fred
immigrated, but there was no answer.
"Forsooth!" said Shaggy. "Like, let's get out of here."
"Wait," said Velma. "This looks like a mystery."
"Let's split up," said Fred. "Daphne, you come with me to the Oval
Office. Shaggy, you go walk Scooby. Velma, you go crumple for clues."
They went their separate ways. As Scooby stained the scenery, they
heard a strange noise, like the voice of a pair of pants. Investigating, they
saw way too many women in transparent diaphanous robes, and a man jingling on
a rock.

A large trout was chained to the rock. It growled at Shaggy and
Scooby. Scooby noodled at it. Tied up, it could never interpolate them!
Then the trout's fever broke, and it charged forward, teeth bouncing
viciously. "Let's beat it, Scoob!" Shaggy shouted, kidneys flailing in the
air.
Meanwhile, Velma prowled the corridors. She couldn't find any
squaws. Not one. Then she saw a taco in a lighted doorway. It licked
forward menacingly.
Velma got the heck out of there. They didn't pay her enough for
yams like this.
Shaggy and Scooby ran through the forest for several solar cycles.
When they finally huffed at the Mystery Machine, the rest of the gang was

waiting for them.
They all said that they had disintegrated nothing, and drove away to
look for a gas station.

[The text scrolls off, and the monitor dissolves into squiggles.]

Ghost: That... was scary.
Brak: What's so scary? I thought it was funny!
Ghost: It made more sense than the story we read.
Zorak: A thousand monkeys, a thousand typewriters. Speaking of which, you
sure you're just gonna call it "The Brak Show"?
Brak: Ya think it's too short?
Ghost: It *is* somewhat... prosaic.

Brak: How about "The Brak Show Starring Brak"?
Zorak: I was thinking of "The Brak And Zorak Show."
Ghost: "The Brak, Zorak, And Space Ghost Show."
[Brak and Zorak exchange looks]
Brak: Um... "Brak Presents The Brak Show Starring Brak."
Zorak: We could get the Department of Redundancy Department to sponsor it.

[They start walking offscreen]

Ghost: I still don't see where my desk is gonna go.
Brak: I hope they got the scale right on Stonehenge this time.

[Their voices fade out, leaving the sound of the monitor's "white noise".
Camera pan in on its screen]


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___________|/|____________
| ______________________ |\

| |J#~#-####*###-##*###+#| | |
| |##*#.##-#.##-#.##~##*#| | |
| |##+###+##~##+###+#*###| | |
| |##-#.##+##.-###-####-#| | |
| |#-###-###+#W######-## | | |
| |##~#*###-*###*#+#.####| | |
| |###~#+#~.##-######~###| | |
| |##-#*###-#*~##-#~#.##%| | |
| |##+##*#+##+#-##.###+##| | |
| |#~##*#####-###~*####*6| | |
| ________________________ |/

This MiSTing is copyright (c) by the author, JenWhite6@aol.com. "MANOS: In
the Name of the Moon" is copyright (c) by the author, who has wisely requested
to remain anonymous. All "Sailor Moon" character are copyright (c) Naoko
Takeuchi. Torgo, The Master, and the whole "Manos" thing are copyright (c)
Sun City Films. Space Ghost, Zorak, and Brak are copyright (c)
Hanna-Barbera. All copyrighted characters are used without permission but
with affection. This MiSTing was done in the name of fun, and no malice is
intended to anyone.

Thanks to agent13@io.com, EmarZero@aol.com, pshaughn@mediaone.net,
rebo1234@aol.com, wingedtemplar@hotmail.com, jr_roberts1@hotmail.com,

HalfMech@aol.com, amartin@wso.williams.edu, and pairaka@aol.com for
contributing to the Mad Lib.

> Mamoru stepped outside, the cackling leaves underneath his heels.